Gift baskets are out of fashion! Or is it that they’re just plain boring? Actually, I hope the correct response is neither. (Lock it in; that’s my final answer.) I’m actually a gift food merchant. Kind of has a special ring to is, doesn’t it? Granted, it may be less significant that solving the global warming problem or removing a pesky mouse from under your kitchen cabinet, but it’s an honest way to pay for the roof over my family’s head.
I can read your mind: “I’ll bet he never has a problem deciding what to give during the holidays; year in and year out everybody on his list gets stuck with another gift basket.” How dare you think about me in that way! I actually have the same problems you have in deciding what gift is best for everyone on my list.
I don’t give only baskets of joy to my loved ones. However, even if I did, the choice would still not be easy. My company alone offers scores of fruit baskets, wine gift baskets, gourmet food options and far more. (I can hear you right now, begging me to tell you where this wonderful store is. A little patience is called for on your part.)
Before you coerce me into giving away my store location, I want to share my own decision making strategy with you.
First, I decide on an appropriate category of gift. If Uncle Milton has his drinking problem under control for the first time in ten years, I should not even consider the wine baskets. Instead, I think I’ll send him an assortment of gourmet cheeses and a fresh fruit basket.
Aunt Millie, on the other hand, is a great wine sipper. Frankly, I don’t know if she really enjoys the wine, but she sure enjoys talking about it. She loves to let everyone know the best vintage years, the kinds of grapes that are used in various blends and, most of all, how much she spent on the wine you just spilled all over her new carpeting ($95 a square yard). I’ll give her one of my better wine gift baskets, but I refuse to give her the best stuff. Sure, I get it wholesale, but I still have to pay for it! (I’m also not going to pay for the carpet cleaning; not after what that cat of hers did to my new coat.)
Everyone in our family, except me, says that my nephew Alfred finally made his girlfriend an honest woman. I, on the other hand, never doubted his girlfriend’s honesty, but I have some reasons to suspect Alfred. In any case, they finally got married. To tell you the truth, even I agree that it’s about time. Alfred spent the last eight years trying to decide if she was worth the cost of a diamond ring. (I suspect that he eventually settled on crystal, which, considering Alfred, would be thought of as generous.) Alfred always loves to receive cash as a gift. Well, he’s not getting that from me. Instead, they’re getting a meal of live lobsters and the trimmings from me. Actually two, of course. My thinking is that this is the only way to get his bride out of the kitchen. Alfred would never pay for a restaurant meal, so, in a sense, I’m sending the restaurant to them. (They honeymooned by visiting me!)
Second, I decide how much I’m willing to spend on these losers.
My perfect grandson isn’t getting a food gift. I’m getting him the latest cell phone system, complete with an unlimited calling plan. I would get him a sports car if only you would buy a lot more gift baskets!
